What a year!

Relationships:
There was only one major thing, and it was with Palmer. We became friends, he said "I can't do relationships right now", I said "okay", we kissed on Halloween for the first time (in the rain, in the parking lot, at 3am). Things progressed from there, till we were basically everything but the title in December. That lasted till mid-January, when I felt him pulling away, and on January 28th he said to me, "I am sorry, I can't separate the physical relationship from the emotional. We have to stop the physical," and I said "okay", and was crushed, even though I saw it coming. So, after that of course things got weird even though we pretended they weren't (he was, after all, my TA and constant coworker, not to mention roommate's best friend)... And then for a while he played games with me, "yes" one night and "no" the next, that sort of thing, till I got fed up with it, and now... well, we're unofficially not speaking, for the summer. It's best for both of us, I think. It'll give me a chance to get over him, so that when we're sitting in class together, doing shows together next fall, hopefully it won't be weird. So there's that. He sort of broke my heart, but it's my own fault for letting it happen, and I don't fault him for it. He never meant any harm. People have said to me that I will defend him always, that I never talk shit about him. It's true. I totally fell for him. Wrongly. I shouldn't have. Oh well, though, what can you do, right? Except pick yourself up and carry on. Which is what I'm doing, and with a force! :-D

School:
I have come leaps and bounds since last year. My GPA is much worse for the wear (from a 3.9 to a 3.6) but it's still good enough, and I feel that I have made extremely good impressions on all but one of my professors. There are very few things I would change about this year, as far as academics go. The encouragement and praise I've received have been tremendous; I actually feel like I'm doing the right thing, most of the time. It's an amazing feeling to know that the higher-ups are on my side.

Friendship:
Zac and Marina (and Palmer, once) are my best friends at WMU right now. The only person I've kept in good contact with from OHS is Colleen, and I love her, we send letters all the damn time! :-D Yay for her. I feel like I've really found my place, that even though I don't hang out with many different people on a regular basis, I ALWAYS have someone to talk to, anywhere in the building. It's wonderful. Better than I ever thought. AND every once in a while, I get the hint that I for some of the freshman am someone they look up to. Which is flattering and... *shakes head* I don't know. It makes me feel worthwhile. Like...okay, I am a person worth knowing. Tres cool.

Roommate:
Zac! (Pookie!) hehe... we survived one year together, and have signed on for one more! He's great, I truly could NOT have asked for anyone better. We fit together perfectly, living together... except, of course, he occasionally gets mad when I don't do dishes for awhile, which is understandable, and I sometimes get irritated when he brings a girl over every night for two weeks... but really, we get past it, and we haven't ever really had a "fight" to speak of. We allow each other space, and we are still friends. I love living with him, I positively dread his graduation, because then I'll have to find someone new! But I'm safe for a year yet.

Theatre:
Dear god. Sometimes I have my doubts, but I for some reason always push on, and I am so glad I have. This summer marks something new for me: during finals, I worked a ballet in Chelsea with Zac, after finals, I went home for two nights before coming back to Kzoo to work the Gilmore Keyboard Festival, and stayed in Laura's room, then back home for two nights, then back to Kzoo to work the Michigan Youth Arts Festival, the dance/theatre bits, when I stayed with Drew, and now I'm home for a week before I head off to Hope Summer Repertory Theatre in Holland for 3 months in a painting/carpentry internship! I'm so excited. This is my first summer actually doing theatre work consistently, and it's wonderful so far. I don't know. Again, the encouragement I've received from some of the toughest professors here was just the spark I needed to really get me in there.

Anyway. I'm just really happy with where I'm at right now. There are very, very few things, if anything, that I would change. I guess really the only thing I would change would be about Palmer, and well... it's really for the best, the way things turned out. I think the ONLY person who hates me is his ex... and she graduated last year, so it's not an issue very often. I'm just... I don't know. Happy to make a happy post.

Things are working out so well!
Better than I could have dreamed, I think.
I'm still me. But it's okay. I'm okay.